Stay

Only the mother
Knows the pain of the child
But does she really know mine
Every time she promises to stay?
Every time she accepts the wayward excuses?
Every time she swallows the constant abuses?
Does she understand how it hurts me
To see her all covered in bruises?


Once upon a time I did love her
And thought she was special
But that was so long ago
That was before my heart of stone
Before her selfishness manifested in me
The kind of hatred I harbour now
Before she pledged to stay for me
Without realizing how long she’d been gone.


Why does she say
That for my sake she will endure
When her soul is elsewhere
And her heart is frozen
Between us is the loudest of silences
And often we share awkward glances
That I never cease to wonder
Is she staying for me
Or am I staying for her...?

Soledad

I was not alone then
I am not alone now
I am never alone
Because when there’s no one around
My thoughts speak to me
Sometimes it’s just a soft whisper
Almost like a gently blowing breeze
Other times it’s a loud bang
A rough complaint
But at least they talk to me
Confusing me…?
Sometimes
Encouraging me…?
Maybe
Berating me…?
Of course!
They make me feel guilty at times,
Scared, belittled, like a novice
But I don’t mind
Because at least that means I have a conscience
And if my conscience disturbs me
Then it means I feel...

Broken Heartache

I wanted to tell you in person
To look deep into your eyes
And reach into your soul
To take a chance and drown
In the depth of your heart
But the sound of my voice
Was lost in the gales
So you heard not
The words that I uttered

I wanted to tell you in person
To feel the caress
Of your lips on mine
To taste the magic
Of your kiss divine
But the look on my face
Was lost in the crowd
And you saw not
The way that I felt

I wanted to tell you in person
To hear you say
That all was okay
That you too sought my love
And craved my touch
But the thoughts in my heart
Were lost in my head
And you knew not
The extent of my affection

Lost Spirituality

“Be still and know that I am Lord…”
They sang to me again and again
Until I could not get the rhythm out of my head
So stand still I did
Waiting for what? I can never tell
For how long? I can’t be too sure
All I know is that for what seemed like an eternity
I put my life on hold and depended on hope
I tried my best to be patient, to have faith
I looked upon their God for a sign
For a miracle to set me straight
And when I felt that all was futile? –
“Amazing grace how sweet the sound…”
Was thrown my way from all directions
They told me that it would take time
For me to receive the great benediction
And that it would come to me
At a time when I was desperate for it
Yet at the same time
Oblivious to my dire need for grace
So here I am, sitting in oblivion
Not sure whether it is blessings I seek
Or just peace of mind, a rest from their religion
And a long overdue reconciliatory communication
With the one I call my Father

The Image Of Self Worth

If I had paid attention to deatail
I would have noticed how tall you were, how you stood above the rest
With broad muscular shoulders to carry all the debonair
And sophisticated air with which you carry yourself around
I would have seen that swagger that made the ladies swoon
And the men drool

If I had paid attention to detail
Maybe I would have noticed those beautiful and luscious pink lips
Which I imagine could kiss the sense out of me
And I wouldn’t have missed that deep dark baritone
That floated from them with such immense ease
That beautiful sound that turned everything you said
Into Arabic poetry

If I had paid attention to detail
Probably I would have seen that cocoa bean brown face
With deep-set aquamarine eyes that bore right into the soul
The square jaw chiseled by Michael Angelo himself
I would have noticed those high cheek bones
That beckoned whoever dared to stretch ever so slightly
And caress ever so gently

If I had paid attention to detail
I would have merely seen but not understood
I would have failed to comprehend
Your ego, the size of Russia
Your self love, so much more than you deserve
And your self worth, less than the price a toilet roll
So you see, it is because I forced myself to listen to the unsaid
That I realized that the said
Was but worthless bickering